January 2 2011, And yesterday was a cool date to blog 1-1-11 and I missed it. But today it my son Ryan's wedding anniversary so that makes it cool anyway.

I'm not going to try to be profound this time. I'm just going to try to write something every day until March 7th. I've joined a private blog that's all about being a little better. Journal writing is one of the things and I'm going to try to do it every day.

So today is Sunday, I've finished preparing the Class 9 lesson on Scriptures and the New Testament. That was stressful because I've just done it for 2 weeks. The 1st week I sucked big time and the second, Layne gave me a blessing and one of the fathers came in. Needless to say, the lesson went over wonderfully and the children had a good experience. So one week great. This week is actually a new class of kids, as it's the new year. The girls are in my Activity Days so I know them a little bit. I've done all the preparing I can and I've just got to trust again, focus on the kids, remember I'm teaching children not a lesson, and pray pray pray.

The other thing on my mind today is the good day I had yesterday. I think Layne and I both got all of our goals accomplished (except for journal-writing, and I didn't practice the guitar). but we got up at a good time, studied scripture, exercised, put away the Christmas decorations, ate right, (No bad stuff, per se, no sugar, no soda, although pizza is not really a "health food". Still, it was a healthy kind, I think.), had my fruits and veggies, drank enough water, got some sunshine, played with my grandsons, didn't eat after 8:pm, and went to bed by 10:30pm. And that's the earliest I can make it to bed. I'm gonna have to call anything before 11:pm my "early to bed time. Getting up early, even when going to bed early is going to take a little work. I'm used to waking between 7-7:30am so I have to retrain. It's still dark before that so it's going to be hard.

Do I have to decide what my ultimate goals are with this, or is just having daily accomplishments enough? I'm reticent to put things out there like "lose 50 lbs", because I get frustrated and quit when it takes so long. I think I just want to do this a day at a time and make some new habits. I've already got a lot of these things down. I'm adding journal-writing, daily PERSONAL scripture study, no eating after 8:pm, 45 minutes of exercise 6 times per week, guitar and piano at least 15 minutes per day. Let's see if I can do that. Let's see what I can turn into by doing that much.

I hope to waist less time every day. Look at people when they're talking to me. Listen better.
That's the list. We'll see.

Almost Christmas!

December the 4th already! I'm so looking forward to seeing Aubrey and Adam! Time is slipping by and disappearing behind me. I stay so busy, but anybody can stay busy, right? It's not about that, and I sometimes, no, strike that - USUALLY forget that it's really about the people in my life and not about the things that need doing.

Layne, I love you! You are everything that's constant and real for me in this world.

Mom, I love you! Thank you for teaching me to love music and art and beauty! Thank you for teaching me to work hard and keep trying even when the struggles are bigger than me.

Tim, Sonia, Ryan, Staci, Katrina, Bill, Shayna, Trevor, Aubrey and Adam, I love you!! I pray for you every time I think of you - which is several times a day. I hope that your struggles bring you closer to each other and teach you to trust God with all your hearts!

Alissa, McKenzie, Sam, Braxton, Taft, Trystn, LJ, Emily, and Preston, I love you! You are amazing in you potential and filled with all the best, most glorious gifts of Heaven! I can't wait to see who you will become!

May you all have the most wonderful Christ - mas celebration ever!!

Neva had a friend like me!

So now I'm connected! Facebook and emails and blogs! But visits in the flesh are still my favorite. Visiting Teaching today was a good excuse to see my sweet Aunt Marion. She always has a good story to tell me and I love her. Yesterday Shayna and Trevor when to take Braxton to see snow and I got to tag along. Trevor made a sled out of the spare tire cover! Way to think out side of the box! You should have seen Trevor pushing Braxton up the hill on that cover and then letting him slide down! Braxton was one happy boy! And he did most of the hard work on two snowmen, no, well.... snowblobs really, but that was fun! Well, I really don't have anything to blog about today, I just wanted to say "Hi" and "I love you" to everyone! I loved Katrina's blog today! Glad the car has a name already the that it can go so far on one tank of gas. LOL! Love you guys!!

Vegging at home

I've had some ups and some fussy worries but life is amazing on the whole. There is really nothing to compare to seeing our daughter Katrina have her baby. She was so brave and good. I can't thank her enough for trusting me to be there.The Midwife really knew her stuff. I'm especially glad that she knew exactly how to get that 9lbs baby with the barrel chest to come out on his own.

After 6 & 1/2 weeks on the Lantz's cozy sofa, it was with mixed emotions that I cuddled up to my sweet Layne in our own soft bed. As much as I missed my best friend, it took me awhile to stop thinking I should see Sammy around here somewhere. I guess as I get older the brain takes longer to adjust to new things.

Speaking of which, it was sad to see that the gradual decay in Mom's condition was noticeable after so short a time as 6 weeks. Somehow she seems better now though I'm not sure if that isn't just me getting used to her again. She's really so patient and easy to care for. You can see how much she struggles to find meaning in her days. I wish I could give her that. I just don't know how. I've started to practice the piano a little everyday. She seems to really enjoy watching me and trying to give me pointers. Maybe this is the time in my life I'm supposed to finally learn to play.

I came home to some tentative job offers. I took them all. I'm officially signed up as an employee with Tasteful Trends Interiors. That is straight commission and I only go in if I have a project. They were willing to do a mass mailing for me to reach as many of my old clients as seemed possible. It's a shot in the dark in this economic climate but it was worth a try. I also agreed to do some projects for Gable House Interiors. The first one was his own showroom. We'll see if he thinks I'm worth keeping around for others. And the last offer was from Ethan Allen. They invited me to become an independent contractor with them. I decided to take them up on that so I got my business license - or am in the process still actually, and applied to corporate for that opportunity.

Now I'm sitting around at home and wondering what the future will bring. It's nice to get some things done around the house. Layne and I have almost got those 2 rooms ready for company. It's easy to fall into lazy habits and I feel like all I do is do things for me and I don't like it. It doesn't feel right. I'm not making money and I'm not serving anyone but me. Even working on the house seems selfish because it's mine. I'm watching too many shows on hulu and playing free cell too much.

But I do get a little done every day, usually with Layne's help because I'm not as tough as I used to be. I guess sometimes it's just not necessary to push as hard as other times. Maybe that's the answer. I don't have to be "doing" all the time to be ok. I love my life right now. I enjoy having Layne and Mom near. I love our house. It really is beautiful. The dusty yellow makes me think of sunbeams. I guess I'm just doing things I enjoy doing and I don't have to feel guilty about that. There's plenty of time, and nobody needs anything from me but my prayer. Right? Of course right.

I am praying for all of you as hard as I ever have and as hard as I always will. I'm so proud you, so amazed by you, so impressed. And I will always love you.

California!

The last time I got to come to California was to take Mom to see her brother Rodney last August. Katrina and Bill came up to visit that trip. I can't believe I haven't seen Sammy for a whole year! No wonder he's so tall!
I'm having so much fun getting to know Sam again. So far, we've been to the park twice. The second time he ran and ran and played in the fountain and made lots of new friends. On the way home we practiced skipping and hopping and sideways walking. Sammy's bright and energetic and very cuddly.
Katrina and Bill have a good ward with lots of good friends. There are men who like to get together for basketball and etc, and women that are in Katrina's time of life with little ones for Sam.
I'm missing my Sweetie, but every night he calls me and reads scriptures to me. Thank you my love.

Wearing "P"

Tonight is Young Women's night and we are instructed to wear as many things that start with P as Possible. Shayna and Daddy helped me make uP quite an imPressive list of things.

I started with Powder and Perfume and liP Plumper. Then I Put on Pants, Pink ones, and a Paisely Purple and Pink shirt. I Pinned on a Pink rhinestone Pin. I Put a Pen and Pencil in my back Pocket. I Put my hair in a Ponytail with two Pincurls and Pompadoured my bangs. It's kinda Pretty, though the Ponytail is Plain. I Put on a Pearl Pendent. I Placed Plastic Pink earrings on my lobes and, Polished my toes. I Put my Phone in my Pocket and a Pink Paper Post-it. Finally, I Put Platform shoes on and I think I'm ready for my P night with the Young PWomen. I'll let you know if I win anything. :-P

The Past, Present, and the Future

Next Saturday Anthony Larson will be visiting Saint George. He's the author of The Prophecy Trilogy. This is a set of books that your Dad and I read almost thirty years ago together and had quite the paradigm shift in regards to our understanding of last-days revelations and prophecies.

We read everything we could after this first introduction, including Immanual Velicovsky's works. Man I struggled through those! I had to read things over and over to make sense of it. I can tell you I was a far better reader after that experience. Velicovsky was not writing to the masses!

Daddy and I never really taught what we learned from our studies. We felt it was more important for each of you to be prepared spiritually for what is to come first. We don't know if these books are right on in every detail. If they are not, that's ok. That won't shake our faith in God. But we believe that the coming destructions as catalogued in the Book of Revelations are literal and easy to understand in that way. We believe that God will orchestrate the heavens to perform his works by sending comets, et al, just as Joseph Smith Jr. said that he would.

I want to recommend that you find yourself a copy of Larsons trilogy and read it, each of you as couples. Discuss it and pray about it. I think it might be important. I tried not to teach you anything I didn't know as gospel. You know I was very obsessive about that. I didn't even preach Santa Claus, as pretty as that one is for children. So I hope you put the weight of this behind it that it means to me. I think you should know what your Dad and I think is coming. I think you should decide for yourselves what you believe.