4:20 am & still awake

A brief moment and then things end and new things begin, as in the birth of a child, so is the passing of a loved one.

Mom took her last breath at 12:30 am this morning. I was with her all evening. Her breathing was shallow and difficult for her. I said many prayers to let her go and I talked to her some. Mostly I just held her hand.

I told her a story about a handsome man named Sidney and his young bride Beatrice; how they had 5 boys but only one lovely daughter whom they adored and cherished. They named her Joyce, and she grew up to play the piano beautifully. At 17 she left home for college and there met a man who'd returned from the war. His name was Ben Slack. He was tall and had fiery red hair and sang like a master.  They fell in love and married. They named their first child, a girl, after her beloved father. She had four daughters to make up for never having had a sister, and two sons and she loved them all so much. They grew up and found eternal partners too and gave her so many grandchildren she could hardly keep track of them all. She was so blessed, but after Ben died, she missed him and was lonely. She met an old friend Grant Terry and they were married for a time, and she wasn't lonely for awhile. But he died too. Now it is Joyce's turn to follow. Ben is there, close by, waiting to take her as soon as she's ready to go.

Then I reminded her how much Ben adored, admired and loved her. I hope that I eased the way and helped her to think of him at the last.

I'll call everyone in the morning when its a decent time for telephone calls. But I just can't sleep and I needed to say it all out to my own children so they would know. We did our best for her, maybe she would have been better off in another environment, but we felt like we should care for her and we tried to make her as happy and comfortable as we could.

I'm so relieved for her, I can finally think of her again as I remember her, and I'm so glad for her. Thank God for His great plan of happiness.

I love each of you! Thank you for being who you are!

A Month Gone!

I just glanced at this page and was shocked to realize a month had gone by with no comment from me.
Three weeks ago I let Layne convince me I could run a 1/2 marathon. So training began. I've been gradually increasing the miles and occasionally working on improving speed. The bumber is that I am very sick and will miss my mid-week run this week. I'm determined that I'll still run on Saturday though. I am excited about doing this. I'm actually amazed at myself for believing that I can do it. that's new for me. The other crazy thing about this training it that I let Layne sign me up for the St. George Marathon in October too. I'm not totally convinced about that one, but I feel like if I can do this 1/2 in Bryce Canyon next July, that will be the confidence builder I need for the full.
Another wonderful thing this week was having Katrina come through on her way to her Writer's Conference. I was so happy to be with her. Thursday was the best day possible. Shayna and Katrina and their boys; a day of shopping and lunch, then a break-nap time and finally dinner and a movie. It was just perfect! Layne and I got to watch Katrina's boys, Sam and Layne James during Katrina's conference. I'm so glad we got to do that. The boys was awesome! I am just amazed at how advanced Sam is. Kudos to Katrina for making learning a fun adventure for him. He obviously loves reading and drawing. They are outlets for him, not work. Shayna was so much help too! I believe recognizing that Papa and NaNa are kinda old, she knew we'd need it. And of course, all the cousins had so much fun together. Sam couldn't get enough of Braxton. They were all adorable.
This weekend: Tim graduates with a master's degree in Graphic Design! I'm so proud of him! I can't even say how much. I always knew he was so talented! It's good to see him push to reach his goals.
My children are all grown ups now! I used to tell them that becoming an adult was inevitable but just because you get older doesn't mean you automatically become mature. That's a process that takes more than just time. but all of my children are truly maturing just as they should. They have all surpassed Layne and I in one way or another, and as a parent, nothing feels better than that.
I love you!